it's kicking in now

Do I feel guilt? Do I feel shame? If so, why? Am I really getting away with it? Sometimes, I thank the Racing Gods for making me inept with the whole romance/relationship/sex bit. I wonder how I could have dedicated myself to all this online simulation racing bullshit if I had been lucky in love.

The Outside World relentlessly programs me, but I also persist with my own coding. I keep saying to myself that I am borne of the Wild Country, that I am safe and ahead of all the malware generated by these sickly sycophants surrounding my Self. This Failsafe Device requires that I remain vigilant.

Good luck with that. You know the monster Feargrin grows beyond than the capacity of his cage. Vainglory's severed head continues to send command lines. Foolhardy still broadcasts on the public address. Quacksalver quibbles like an interlaced ghost. Only Automaton shows signs of deterioration.

DO NOT LEAN ON THE CONTROLS

Unfortunately, the Ghost of Sebring demands that I withdraw from the big race at The Green Hell. Right now, I do not have enough skills for a competitive race at the fabled track, so let alone the motivation. Sometimes, your talent level will only limit your desire. This makes no enemies, therefore can be seen as unfriendly. Do your laundry.

How long has it been since I started racing? Fighting with cars made of light and mathematics, against drivers from all over the world... Seems like nobody in the immediate area cares about what I do. It is just a hobby or a distraction to them. I guess, from the outside looking in, it really appears that way. Boohoo sobsob sobsob sobsob boohoo it goes: the train of thought.

WARNING : Time Dilation
WARNING : Cognitive Dissonance
WARNING : Mercy Paradox
WARNING : Insignificant Change

It's best to withdraw now, while it's still a week before the event. If any driver or team takes the car I had previously reserved, they still have plenty of time to setup and practice for the race. Tough to admit, but Nordschliefe has beaten me for the moment. Maybe someday I'll get in shape and try to tackle this track again. Contrivance can convict Lady Luck.