2012 SRA Le Mans 2.4 Hours Preview
A week to go until the big event, probably my last Le Mans race. Only 2.4 hour sprint, nothing like those blistering OATAS endurance races from years ago, but at least it will be on time slip and the middle of the race will be in the dark. More than 35 cars / drivers expected from at least 4 different leagues, it should be quite a competition.
Still, I struggle to get motivated. I thought the ultimacy of this race (and this whole 2012 racing season as well) would encourage me to do my best. Instead the opposite has occurred, and it seems I'm smoking and drinking and partying harder than ever before, trying to escape from the idea of getting a job in the outside world that festers in my mind.
Should have been running in the pro leagues by now, winning races and championships, getting press and giving interviews, signing endorsement deals and doing appearances. The online simulation racing scene has not progressed as I fancied it would, and if I ever did have any skills, they have all perished by now. The dream is over.
I'm running a Porsche 996 in GT2 and my fastest lap so far is about 4:20. The fast guys in the division are running 4:08s in the Ferrari F430, so I'm way off. Twelve seconds are a lot to find, but it is a very long lap and I have some idea where I am losing time. I haven't really fooled around with the setup either. Right now the bigger problem is getting sober.
One more run at Le Mans before I turn into a wage slave and start getting old. One more fight for the defining victory that has eluded me all my life. One more push for my fantasy, not the fantasy that other people push on me. Nobody else cares for my mission, and soon all of this will be nothing but a fading memory. This now here is the Death Drive.
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